The family story Neville uses for imagining that leaves the other person their dignity. His mother wanted to go to America; his father was not the kind of person you gave orders to - he had to feel that he thought it, that he initiated it. So she would have the seamstress in while he was at work, because at home there were no readymade dresses, and have everything made for the trip; and then she would sleep in America and she was there. In time the father came home and announced it himself: I've been watching you and I think you need a vacation, I've booked you to sail on such a ship in two or three weeks - exactly how she planned it. She thanked him profusely and protested the expense, and she did the whole thing anyway. Neville is explicit that the protesting was not deceit but courtesy: he wanted that feeling of one who was being generous, and she pleased him by protesting when in her heart of hearts she knew exactly what she was doing. Why deprive him of the ability or the desire to do it? And his father was never disillusioned; he always believed that he initiated it. She gives her own rule for it at 1237 - how to imagine a state and so believe it that it was to her tantamount to knowing - she knew it by believing. Told in at least three lectures (1237, 1469, 1785). It is the domestic form of the whole method, and the only telling in which the imaginer keeps the result secret from the person who brings it about. PROVENANCE: coined out of chronological sequence at the request of the attacher lane (PM 6100/6118), which searched the corpus for Neville's Barbados family stories and found this one carried by no motif. The reader has not read the home lecture in full; the canonical passage and the other tellings were supplied by the attacher and the reading is drawn from the passage text alone. Confidence 0.95 rather than 0.99 for that reason. The attacher will attach the remaining tellings.