New Evidence Was Teaching Rosicrucian Circles Before Abdullah

For decades, Neville Goddard’s public teaching career has been thought to begin on February 2nd, 1938, when he rented a small room at Steinway Hall with a borrowed five-dollar bill. The date coinciding with the birthday of the woman who would become his wife. This origin story is powerful, poetic, and widely repeated. Neville himself told it often. But it isn’t the whole story.n2209 ¶1

In a 1931 issue of The Rosicrucian Fellowship Magazine, buried in a short news blurb from the Cleveland Study Center, we find a quiet disruption of that narrative: “Two lectures were recently given here by Mr. Neville Goddard, a visiting lecturer from New York. The secretary’s account praised Neville’s “rich voice”, “deep knowledge”, and “sympathetic and helpful affection for us fellow humans”. This lecture occurred at least seven years before his supposed public debut and places Neville firmly within the orbit of Max Heindel’s Rosicrucian Fellowship, a mystical Christian organization that blended astrology, healing, and esoteric Bible interpretation. We had written in a previous article, research trying to pin down which of the several Rosicrucian Societies in NYC (1921–1933), he was a member of, now we know it is the The Rosicrucian Fellowship. The implications are far-reaching. By 1930–1931, Neville was already engaged in public spiritual teaching, and doing so under the banner of one of the era’s most established mystical organizations. At the time, the Rosicrucian Fellowship’s New York headquarters was located at 210 W.n2209 ¶2

72nd Street, just a few doors down from Abdullah’s address at 30 W. 72nd Street, and only a short walk from Neville’s own apartment at 154 W. 75th.n2209 ¶3

This tiny triangle of Manhattan real estate contained Neville’s earliest metaphysical circle, years before he claimed to have gone out on his own. If we align the timeline with Neville’s own teachings, things become even clearer. Neville met Abdullah in 1929 (some lectures say up to 1931), after being prodded by a Catholic priest named David who was an eccentric man who’d flunked out of Fordham and lost a $2 million inheritance on Wall Street. Abdullah greeted Neville by saying, “You are six months late,” implying he had been expected. This places the priest’s invitation possibly in late 1928.n2209 ¶4

In hindsight, it seems Neville was caught between two worlds: the structured spiritual idealism of Heindel’s Rosicrucianism, and the radical psychological mysticism that Abdullah would soon ignite in him. Neville’s famed seven-year vegetarianism and celibacy, often interpreted as a self-imposed discipline or a phase of John-the-Baptist–style purification, also aligns with this period. He would later look back on it as a form of misguided asceticism or “violence to the body” but at the time, it had the signature of Fellowship-style ethical training. During a dinner in Syracuse, he found himself unable to eat roast beef because it felt like he was “cutting into a live animal. Yet not long after, he returned to eating, drinking, and embracing the full range of human experience. That shift marked the end of the Rosicrucian Neville, and the beginning of the psychological mystic Neville the world would come to know. The romantic story of Neville launching his career in 1938, on Catherine’s birthday, isn’t false, but it is selective. It marks the moment he stepped away from all outer structures and began teaching from his own direct mystical experiences. But seeds were planted earlier in Cleveland, in Rosicrucian libraries, in conversations with seekers and healers, and in the quiet halls of 210 W.n2209 ¶5

72nd Street just a few doors down from where Abdullah waited. Walking distance from 154 W. 75st. New York apartment of Neville’s to Abdullah on 72nd 30 W 72nd St, New York, NY 10023, USA, New York City.-New York THE ROSICRUCIAN FELLOWSHIP, Fellowship Center, 210 W. 72nd St. “It was around this time that he became associated with one of the several so-called Rosicrucian bodies.n2209 ¶6

I should like to write at length on this subject of Rosicrucians and Rosicrucian organisations. However, I shall have to leave that for another occasion despite the fact that it is a fascinating subject for research, and a lovely topic for a disquisition on the foibles of human nature. Anyway, he not only became a member of this body and studied with it, but embarked upon a definite spiritual and moral discipline, imposing upon himself a regime of abstemious living, sexual continence, and a vegetarian diet. It was enough, surely, to break a stronger person than him. From a husky strapping fellow of 176 pounds, he rapidly fell in weight to about 135 pounds. Not only was his efficiency impaired, but he became subject to fainting fits, and had long spells of weakness and languor. At the same time, probably because of the dietary and this irrational mode of life, and undoubtedly because of the neurological disturbances which would accompany such a procedure, a number of psychic experiences occurred to him, including involuntary astral projection and momentary clairvoyant glimpses.n2209 ¶7

Neville Goddard: A Portrait by Israel Regardie [Images] Vegetarian From Partakers of the Divine Nature (1968) … met a friend of mine in New York City, his name was Abdullah. He said to me in 1933 (I met him in ’29)…and he did everything, he ate everything, he drank everything. He didn’t smoke only because he just didn’t enjoy it, but he did everything. An old, old man, he was then in his late eighties when I met him.n2209 ¶8

And he said to me, “So you’re going to Barbados? You want to go to Barbados? I said yes. Now, this is where the good news of the kingdom comes in. Then, when I met him, I did not eat flesh in any form, I did not drink alcohol in any form, and no smoking and a celibate. He said, “Well then, you are now in Barbados. I said, “I’m in Barbados?n2209 ¶9

This is on 72nd Street in New York City, where the buildings can go thirty and forty stories high. Barbados, if you find a three-story building, you’re lucky…the little one and two-story buildings, and no sidewalk, but no sidewalk. One little tiny street we call Broad Street, to this day we call it Broad Street, and that’s the only place that has a sidewalk. All the other areas no sidewalks, you walk in the street or you walk in the gutter, but there is no such thing as a sidewalk.n2209 ¶10

From the The Pearl of Great Price Seven years, at the tender age of twenty-odd, in my twenties, having born a son, and knowing the joy of the love of woman, and then by some peculiar thing to swear myself to celibacy; and then knowing the joys of food and to swear myself to being a vegetarian. Well, I had not yet acquired the habit of enjoying a martini, so I couldn’t say I gave that up. But I did…no alcohol, no smoking, this extreme violence to my body. I thought violence to my body was “the way” and it wasn’t the way. But for seven years I did violence to the body by these non-doings, by the giving up, a complete restraint. That was zealousness!n2209 ¶11

From Twenty-seven Heavens So if I tell you of this experience, you may believe me or you may disbelieve me. Even those who believe me will not know it to the extent they will know it after they themselves have had the experience. And so you pass through. But don’t encourage it, don’t this night say, “I will simply go on a vegetable diet, I will give up liquor, I’ll give up smoking, I’ll give up sex in the hope that I’m going to pass through this state. It doesn’t come that way. It comes in a strange way. . . it came to me in the strangest way. I ordered the most wonderful roast beef, may I tell you—I was in Syracuse, New York—and I love my meat, and I ordered the most wonderful roast beef.n2209 ¶12

And as I put my knife into it, I actually felt I was cutting the animal alive. I took the plate and pushed it away. I could not take one piece from that plate. . . and for seven years I couldn’t.n2209 ¶13

So it happened that way. I couldn’t touch a piece of meat, a piece of fowl, an egg or fish for seven years. But it happened…I was… for seven years. And I ordered from the menu roast beef, as I always loved it, and as it was delivered I just thought it would be marvelous, and as I put my knife right into it, I was cutting into the animal and pushed the whole thing away. For seven years it was that way. And coming back to the States I did everything I had not done in seven years. That’s how you pass through the state called John the Baptist and come into the state called Jesus Christ.n2209 ¶14

But before you are lifted off the wheel, you must prove that this is good news. And good news is that everything in this world that you want you can have if you clothe yourself with it. It doesn’t mean you’re lifted off the wheel, but clothe yourself with it. You want to be rich? How would you feel were you rich? You want to be healthy? How would you feel were you healthy? You want to be free of all embarrassment? How would you feel this night if you were not embarrassed, that not a thing in this world could embarrass you? How would you feel were it so?n2209 ¶15

And you clothe yourself with these states, one after the other, and be faithful to the clothing that you wear, and let it unfold in your world. It will! It will completely unfold in your world and you will see it. Then as you practice with it and actually believe in the good news of the kingdom of God, suddenly, when you least expect it, one after the other, a series of events that God predetermined to awaken himself will awaken within you. Because, God has prepared a way for himself to return individualized as you, completely prepared, and no one can stop the way. He’s prepared that way, and so, at very end, all of a sudden the series begins to unfold, and you are it unfolding; and you are he — the one who became you and took himself through the furnaces, all through John into Jesus Christ—and you awake as he.n2209 ¶16

There’s not a thing I can tell you to persuade you to accept it. And I wouldn’t raise a finger to make it so, because I am not convinced by speculation: I am convinced by knowing having experienced it.n2209 ¶17

And so, if all the great teachers of the churches of the world stood before me in opposition, it would make no difference to me whatsoever. They, too, will pass through these states because they aren’t elected to these states by men. So the heads of all the great churches of the world, if they stood before me now, I could say to them, if you have not experienced it, you will. And your greatness in this world is as naught, it is nothing, for the least in the kingdom is greater than you; for the least in the kingdom has a greatness that you cannot measure by anything on earth. And if you have not experienced this, no matter how great you are with all the medals pinned upon you by men who vanish in this world, it is as nothing.n2209 ¶18

But the day will come you’ll go through John the Baptist. He’s not a man who lived 2,000 years ago. He represents a state of consciousness that’s eternal, through which every soul must pass, and passing through they do violence to their appetites. From One Greater Than John So here tonight, let me tell you the story is true, true beyond the wildest dream of man. And when it erupts within you, you will spiritualize all the Commandments and they’ll make sense. You will not have to simply go along with any outside conformity; that you will not have to deny yourself this, that and the other at a table because you interpreted the law on a literal level in a certain manner. You will eat anything before you if it satisfies you.n2209 ¶19

When I was a strict vegetarian for seven years, I went to Toronto and my friend who was our host, I was in her home, and she could ill-afford the meal that she put down that night, a lovely salmon. She really didn’t have much, in fact she had little, but I was her son’s friend in New York City and he worked for the New York Times. This night I was her guest for ten days in her home in Toronto and she had this lovely salmon. Well, I had never had salmon in seven years. I hadn’t eaten fish, fowl, meat, not even eggs. I knew I could not offend her and I knew I had to violate my pledge this night.n2209 ¶20

And my old friend Abdullah told me years ago when I saw him eating all these things and I was not, he said, “It would poison you if you ate it, because you have quibbles. But you see, I can eat everything because I have no quibbles. But since you have quibbles, it will poison you.n2209 ¶21

Well, I sat down…and this lovely salmon…and all the others ate it. There were about eight around the table, all came to meet me. We all sat down to eat.n2209 ¶22

That night I was as sick as a pup. I brought up my boots, but no one else did. I was self-poisoned. I did not eat this thing in seven years and I violated my pledge to myself, and I was poisoned on the most wonderful piece of salmon, fresh salmon. They all enjoyed it.n2209 ¶23

Well, this is life. And so tonight, if any orthodox Jew ate a piece of pork and knew he was eating it, he would be just as sick as I was that night, because it’s all in conflict with what he believes. So this is life.n2209 ¶24

But the thing itself didn’t hurt you, it’s the individual’s attitude toward it that hurts him. His attitude hurts him.n2209 ¶25

So he said, “I’m told that there’s nothing unclean in itself, but any man who sees anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. You want that quote? It’s the 14th chapter, the 14th verse of Romans. It’s good to know that there’s not a thing in this world that is unclean in itself, but if you think it is, well then, you and your thoughts make it unclean. Astrology In his infancy, man thinks everything outside of himself is the cause of the phenomena of life.n2209 ¶26

Many believe in astrology. I must confess at one time I did also. Years ago I taught astrology to a dear friend who was a retired school teacher. Desiring to augment her retirement income, she became an astrologer. One day I found her in tears. It seemed that she was sitting next to an open window when a breeze blew the papers, causing her to draw the chart of a man who was born ten years later than her customer. Not realising this, she convinced herself – and the man – that his business venture would be a success. The customer promised to wire her $100 if this were true. Norma saw in the chart what the man wanted to hear, and she believed her little hieroglyphics.n2209 ¶27

That is all that mattered. She was self-persuaded, so the whole thing was done. This is based upon the foundation: “Whatever you desire, believe you have received it and you will. By this time I had outgrown my belief in monkey bones, astrology, teacup leaves, numerology, or anything outside of my own wonderful human imagination; for having tested myself, I knew that all things were possible to the imagination. Although I told Norma this, I could not console her. But that evening I was there when a Western Union messenger brought her a check for $100 from the man who had promised it. Even though Norma understood the truth of the one foundation, astrology brought her a small income, so she remained a professional astrologer until her death. Norma is not alone. Many a minister, priest, or teacher, knows that what he teaches is not true; but he is not willing to stand on his own feet and believe in the one foundation. But I was sent with the words, down with the bluebloods, knowing I had to eliminate every intermediary between myself and my God – for he and I were one. God is your own wonderful human imagination and there never was another. He actually took upon himself all of the limitations and weaknesses of the flesh that you – in turn – may discover who God is, believe in yourself, apply your belief, and awaken one day to the realisation that you are he in every sense of the word. – “No Other Foundation” The Rosicrucian Fellowship was an international metaphysical organization founded in 1909 by Max Heindel (Carl Louis von Grasshoff), which also had active members and study centers in New York City during 1921–1933. Unlike the other societies, The Rosicrucian Fellowship (TRF) was headquartered in Oceanside, California (at Mount Ecclesia), but it maintained a New York City Center for its students and followers. The Fellowship taught an inclusive form of esoteric Christianity blended with Theosophy and Western mysticism, based on Max Heindel’s seminal book The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception (1909). It did not function as a secret lodge but rather as an open membership organization with emphasis on spiritual development, healing, and astrology. By the 1920s, the Rosicrucian Fellowship had spread worldwide through correspondence courses and established local centers or “study groups” in major cities like New York. Contemporary evidence shows that a Rosicrucian Fellowship Center in New York existed – for example, a bookplate from the 1920s mentions the “Rosicrucian Fellowship New York Centre Students’ Library”. This suggests the NYC center had a library and hosted regular meetings for students to read and discuss the teachings.n2209 ¶28

Key figures Max Heindel (1865–1919) himself died shortly before our period, but he had visited New York during his lecture tours while alive. After his death, his wife Augusta Foss Heindel and a board of trustees led the Fellowship from California. In New York, leadership would have fallen to regional representatives appointed by headquarters. One prominent teacher affiliated with the Fellowship in the 1920s was Samuel Richard Parchment (1881–1975). Parchment was originally from Jamaica and became a devoted student of Heindel’s work. During the 1920s, Parchment rose to be a leader in the Rosicrucian Fellowship – the Fellowship even published his early writings on astrology and mysticism. While Parchment eventually moved to San Francisco (and in 1932 broke away to form his own Rosicrucian Anthroposophical League), his involvement indicates the caliber of people leading Fellowship groups. It’s likely that in NYC, figures like Warren Evans or Louis Latimer (names that appear in Fellowship magazines as organizers) might have headed the center. The Fellowship was less hierarchical; often a committee of earnest students ran the New York meetings. Another figure to note is Corinne Helene (Corinne Heline) – while based in Los Angeles, her mystical writings (like The New Age Bible Interpretation ) were read in Fellowship circles countrywide, including NYC. She visited New York in the late 1920s to speak about esoteric Christianity, possibly under Fellowship auspices. Additionally, some Theosophists in NYC such as Grace Shaw Duff were friendly to the Fellowship and helped introduce its teachings to church groups. In summary, the Rosicrucian Fellowship’s presence in New York was carried by a network of dedicated students and healers rather than one dominant guru figure. Activities and publications The Rosicrucian Fellowship’s New York center functioned primarily as a lecture and healing center. The Fellowship’s hallmark practice was the weekly Healing Service – held on Wednesdays – where members would gather to pray and visualize healing for those who had requested help. It is documented that the NYC center conducted these healing meetings, aligning with the headquarters’ schedule (tuning in psychically to the energy at Mount Ecclesia). They also held Sunday services that were non-denominational and mystical-Christian in tone. An announcement in Rays from the Rose Cross (the Fellowship’s magazine) from February 1924 mentions a new center opening with “morning, afternoon, and evening services” in a major city – this likely includes New York, indicating active worship gatherings. In addition to services, the Fellowship center ran classes on occult philosophy and Bible interpretation.n2209 ¶29

Members studied Max Heindel’s works via correspondence lessons and would meet to review and discuss the lesson material. The Fellowship offered courses in “Esoteric Christianity” and “Spiritual Astrology,” and students in New York could enroll by mail and supplement their learning with local study groups.n2209 ¶30

The Fellowship’s magazine Rays from the Rose Cross was a key publication (founded in 1913 and continuing through the 1930s) which many NYC members subscribed to. This magazine featured articles on Christian mysticism, vegetarian diet, astrology columns, and news from centers worldwide. For example, it often printed “Echoes from Mt. Ecclesia,” and one can find mentions of activities or progress of the New York center there. The Fellowship also published an Ephemeris (astrological tables) and lessons which astrology students in New York would have used for casting horoscopes. Public outreach in NYC included free lectures on topics like “The Science of Nutrition” or “Astrology: Your Divine Birthright,” often held at venues like the meeting rooms of the Metaphysical Library. The Fellowship had a policy of not charging for instruction (it was sustained by donations), so these events were accessible. There is evidence the Fellowship participated in NYC’s mind-body-spirit fairs or conferences; for instance, in the late 1920s, metaphysical expos in Manhattan saw Rosicrucian Fellowship booths distributing literature.n2209 ¶31

In terms of local publications, the New York center might have put out a small newsletter for its members, but the main printed materials came from headquarters (Oceanside). Affiliations The Rosicrucian Fellowship was not directly affiliated with the other Rosicrucian orders, as it saw its mission as somewhat distinct – focusing on preparing humanity for the Aquarian Age through Christian mysticism and healing. However, it occupies a place in the same ecosystem. The Fellowship had good relations with Theosophical Society branches (Max Heindel himself was a former Theosophist, and his teachings overlap with Theosophy). In New York, Fellowship members often attended Theosophical lectures and vice versa. Also, the Anthroposophical Society (Rudolf Steiner’s movement) had a presence in NYC in the 1920s, and Steiner’s teachings had Rosicrucian elements; some seekers sampled both Steiner and Heindel. Indeed, Samuel Parchment’s breakaway in 1932 combined Rosicrucian Fellowship ideas with Anthroposophy (hence the name Rosicrucian Anthroposophical League ). Parchment founded that league in San Francisco, but it eventually established centers on both coasts, including New York. Notably, by the 1970s the New York center of Parchment’s league evolved into an African-American esoteric group (the Ausar Auset Society), showing a long-term influence in NYC. In the 1920s–30s, the Fellowship also intersected with New Thought churches. Its teachings on healing and positive thinking resonated with groups like Unity and Church of Divine Science; ministers from those churches sometimes invited Fellowship speakers.n2209 ¶32

Unlike AMORC or SRIA, the Rosicrucian Fellowship deliberately avoided secret society trappings, so it didn’t engage in rivalries or federations. However, Clymer’s earlier-quoted diatribe mentions “the Clymer-Lewis intrigues… increased to involve other groups such as the RF”. This implies that during the feud, Clymer may have also criticized the Rosicrucian Fellowship (perhaps objecting to their use of the name “Rosicrucian” or their Christ-centered approach). If so, it was minor; the Fellowship largely stayed above the fray. In fact, Fellowship leaders were often viewed as neutral elders: for example, Augusta Foss Heindel maintained correspondence with both AMORC and FRC figures cordially, and the Fellowship’s stance was that many streams lead to the Rosicrucian ideals. Notable events and influence One notable event for the Fellowship was Max Heindel’s death in 1919, after which the organization had to continue under new leadership. By 1921, the transition was successful, and the Fellowship even expanded its facilities at Mount Ecclesia. In New York City, an important milestone was the establishment of a permanent meeting space for the Fellowship. Initially, around 1910s, interested students met at someone’s home or rented space; by the 1920s, they likely had a dedicated center (the bookplate evidence suggests a library, which in turn suggests a fixed location). We can imagine that around the mid-1920s a Rosicrucian Fellowship Temple or Reading Room opened in Manhattan, possibly in midtown.n2209 ¶33

The Fellowship’s influence on NYC’s mystical life was quite broad: it introduced many to astrology as a spiritual science. The New York Astrological Society in the 1920s had overlap with Fellowship membership, and the use of astrology for personal growth (as opposed to fortune-telling) was popularized by Heindel’s system. Moreover, the Fellowship championed vegetarianism and holistic health in a spiritual context; this likely influenced the burgeoning health food culture in New York. The Fellowship also added to the “aquarian” Christian movement in the city – groups like the Light of Egypt (a mystical order based on the Brotherhood of Luxor teachings) and Paul Foster Case’s Builders of the Adytum acknowledged Heindel’s works. A concrete example of influence: Elisabeth Sevringhaus, a New Yorker who became a notable astrologer and metaphysical teacher, credited her early study of Rays from the Rose Cross. Furthermore, through the 1920s, the Fellowship’s emphasis on transmuting the lower nature and service to humanity gave a spiritual-ethical dimension to New York’s occult scene that balanced out some of the more power-oriented or ritualistic streams. In 1933, the Fellowship was still going strong; however, a legal case in 1934 (just outside our range) would rock it – a schism led to a court battle over church authority. But up to 1933, New York’s Rosicrucian Fellowship members were unified and contributing to what we might call today the “proto-New Age” environment of the city. They offered a gentler alternative to those who might be curious about Rosicrucianism but disinterested in the squabbles of AMORC vs FRC or the formal structure of SRIA.n2209 ¶34

In 1925 Neville and his dancing partner (Amerique) sailed for England and travelled widely in that country. While there he was introduced to the world of psychical research which interested him greatly. Shortly after his return to America in 1926, his interest in mysticism increased as his interest in the theater decreased. And when the depression hit in 1929 and the theaters closed, so did Neville’s professional life as a dancer. See Neville Goddard Research: Neville & Amerique – Broadway Shows and Theaters During this time Neville became interested in the Rosicrucian Society and met a man who was to influence his life.n2209 ¶35

The man had thought he wanted to become a Catholic priest. While he was studying for the priesthood, his father, a wealthy businessman died and left an estate of thousands of dollars to his son. Quickly changing his mind about the priesthood, the young man proceeded to spend the money as fast as he could. Having no respect for a man who would spend so lavishly when the country was in such need, Neville found excuses when asked to attend a class the young man had joined.n2209 ¶36

See About Abdullah: “The Wall Street Priest David B” Neville Goddard Research (New York) Abdullah – 1929 – 1936 But one day Neville ran out of excuses and attended the class of an eccentric Ethiopian rabbi named Abdullah. When the class was dismissed Abdullah came over and, taking Neville’s hand said, “Where have you been? You are three months late! ” Taken aback Neville asked, “How did you know I was coming?” to which Abdullah replied, “The brothers told me.n2209 ¶37

With Abdullah, Neville studied the Qabalah, a Jewish form of mysticism, and obtained illuminating insights into the books of the Bible. He developed a new approach to the problem of man and his relationship with the pulsating world of spirit around him. It was Abdullah who taught Neville how to use the law of consciousness and how to see the Bible psychologically. And as Neville began to see the world as a picture world, projected from within, his faith in himself grew.n2209 ¶38

From The Man Who Knew He Was God “He said to me in 1933 ( I met him in ’29 )…and he did everything, he ate everything, he drank everything. He didn’t smoke only because he just didn’t enjoy it, but he did everything. An old, old man, he was then in his late eighties when I met him. In “Who are the Condemned” “ He and I studied…I studied with Abdullah for seven years in New York City, seven days a week. We were inseparable. Ab was an old man when I met him, he was then about ninety.n2209 ¶39

He was born in Ethiopia of the Negro race in the Hebraic faith. That was his background. I was born as you see this garment (I’ve worn this from birth) in the Christian faith.n2209 ¶40

And we were inseparable. He taught me scripture as I never heard it from my mother’s knee or from my minister or from anyone who taught me the Bible before. It became a book that was alive to me under the guidance of Abdullah. Well, here is a man, you look at him, here is a Negro, this brilliant, wonderful gentleman. Never once for one moment made any other claim, he would only say to me, “I picked up this garment ninety-odd years ago in Ethiopia. He always described it as a garment that he wore, just a garment.n2209 ¶41

From the same lecture Q&A section: (3/10/1964) Little Room on 75th Street – 1933 In November, 1933, I bade goodbye to my parents in the city of New York as they sailed for Barbados. I had been in this country 12 years with no desire to see Barbados. I was not successful and I was ashamed to go home to successful members of my family. After 12 years in America I was a failure in my own eyes. I was in the theatre and made money one year and spent it the next month. I was not what I would call by their standards nor by mine a successful person.n2209 ¶42

Mind you when I said goodbye to my parents in November I had no desire to go to Barbados. The ship pulled out, and as I came up the street, something possessed me with a desire to go to Barbados. It was the year 1933, I was unemployed and had no place to go except a little room on 75th Street. I went straight to my old friend Abdullah and said to him “Ab, the strangest feeling is possessing me. From Five Lessons: A Master Class (1948) I lived in a basement apartment on 75th Street in New York City, not knowing where the next dollar was coming from.n2209 ¶43

I did not despair, however, but sat in the silence and quietly closed my eyes. I was not thinking of anything in particular, just resting with my eyes shut, watching the golden clouds which always come, as all the dark convolutions of the brain grow luminous. As I contemplated this golden, liquid light, a quartz approximately 20″ in diameter suddenly appeared, then fragmented itself into numberless parts. As I watched, they gathered themselves together into a human form seated in the lotus posture. Startled, I realised that I was looking at myself – but a self containing such majesty of face and beauty of features, that I could never have believed possible. There was nothing I could have added to that perfection to improve it. I was looking at myself in deep meditation, not as a piece of clay, but a living statue. Then it began to glow and increased in luminosity until it reached the intensity of the sun and exploded; and I awoke to find myself still seated in my chair in my little basement apartment in New York City. From “The Mystery of Life” (1969) So following this find in Neville’s lecture “Who Are the Condemned?n2209 ¶44

“And the reason why I was late, the man who suggested to me that I should go there to hear him was a man that I didn’t trust at all. He went to Fordham University in the hopes of becoming a priest and he flunked in his third year. His father was a rumrunner in the days of prohibition, and died and left him an estate, the only child, of two million dollars. And he proceeded to lose the entire two million in the first year on Wall Street. So I had no confidence in his ability to do anything.n2209 ¶45

So when he told me he met a man that I really must hear, I postponed and postponed and postponed the going. And one day I ran out of excuses, and it was a Sunday evening, and he said, “Now you have no more excuses. I know you have no dates, so come with me. So I accepted. Ab was just about to start when I went through the door and so I took the first chair, not to disturb the twenty who were present. Ab was sitting in a huge, big chair, and he came right over, called me by my name, he said, “Neville, you are late, you’re six months late. So I was stunned. The man knew my name and could tell me that I was six months late. And it was about six months before that that David, his name was David ___(?), asked me to come and hear a man called Abdullah. And from that day on I never failed, I was with Ab daily. ___(?) but I can’t, I have to pay rent here. But he would never take a dollar from me. From a “Lesson in Scripture” “I was late because the one who told me of Abdullah was a Catholic priest. I loved him dearly, but I thought he was almost a moron. His father, a rumrunner in the days of prohibition, left him two million dollars, which he proceeded to lose on Wall Street the first year. The only wonderful thing he did was to take the last $15,000 and give it to a Catholic organisation to care for his mother the rest of her earthly days. So, having no respect for his judgment, when he told me about Abdullah I postponed going to hear him until one day I could find no excuse.n2209 ¶46

When Ab called me by name I said: “I don’t know you,” and he replied: “Oh yes you do, but you have forgotten. We were together in China thousands of years ago, but you promised to completely forget in order to play the part you must play now.”n2209 ¶47