Who AM I

Now tonight’s subject is “Who am I?” It should be of vital interest to everyone in the world. Blake made a statement that “Every generated body in its inward form is a garden of delight and a building of magnificence”. “Travelers from eternity,” listen to it carefully, “from eternity pass to bodies of flesh and blood, and forgetfulness. But travelers to eternity pass inward to the Father and remembrance.” Those who pass from eternity pass outward to these bodies of flesh and blood; those who pass to eternity pass inward to the body of the Father and remembrance. So tonight we ask the question, who am I? Everyone is asking this question. You think you are and you’ll name it. If I said, who are you? You will say, “I am John.” John what? And you give me your entire background…you’re John Brown and tell me your story. If I should say John in your presence, you’d respond, you would answer, and you think you are John. That’s your outward journey from eternity into a state of forgetfulness of who you really are.441 ¶1

Then you turn around by practicing repentance and repentance simply means a radical change of attitude towards everything in the world. I don’t care what it is, a radical change of attitude. You don’t like that, well, change your attitude toward it and represent it to yourself as you would like it to be. Even though at the moment reason denies it, your senses deny it, everything denies it, you simply represent it to yourself as you want it to be. That’s practicing repentance, a radical change of attitude towards life. By this you turn around, and then you move toward eternity; and to do that, you pass inward to the Father and remembrance. For you came out from eternity: “I came out from the Father and I have come into the world; again, I am leaving the world and going to the Father” .441 ¶2

Now here, follow me in your Imagination with a little story. Just imagine a man, born in a very modest environment in a certain city, and he never traveled beyond the few miles of that place where he was born, never. His background is nothing to write about…he has no social, financial, intellectual background. A simple normal man, whose family lives normally in that environment and he never traveled beyond the few miles of that moment or that place of birth. Now imagine this person making the most outrageous claims in the world, extraordinary claims. But they all knew him, they know exactly who he is, and here this man is making these claims. Here are a few of the claims. It would take us all week to tell you of the claims of this man.441 ¶3

He begins in the Book of Luke . He comes into the synagogue as was his custom on the Sabbath. The attendant gave him a book, the book was the prophet Isaiah. When he found the place—he was looking for a certain place—he rose, and he read the first verse and the first half of the second verse of the 61st chapter of Isaiah. And this is what he read them: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me, he has sent me to preach good news to the poor, and release to the captives”. He closed the book, returned it to the attendant, and sat down, and all eyes were upon him. Then he turned to those present in the synagogue and he said, “The scripture that you have heard has been realized today.” He tells them that in him scripture is being fulfilled, and this has been realized in him. Well, that’s not what the world was looking for. They aren’t looking for scripture to be fulfilled in an individual; they’re looking for it to be fulfilled by an individual on the outside, a conqueror, who will come into the world coming from without, and enslaving those who enslaved, and setting free those who were enslaved. And that is not how he comes. He comes to set the individual free. For, the individual though he be a billionaire is enslaved by his billions and he doesn’t know it. He could this night be a billionaire and be flat on his back and dependent upon everyone to take care of his normal, natural functions of the body for he is unable to do it; therefore, he’s a slave to that body that he wears and totally unaware of the being that he really is. So when he comes into the world, he comes not from without, he comes from within and he unfolds in you and you are that one foretold in scripture. And that is the story of Christianity. So he begins with this bold claim, the most extraordinary claim that the scripture is fulfilled today.441 ¶4

Now he makes this claim, he said, “Abraham rejoiced that he was to see my day; he saw it and was glad”. And they said to him, “Why you are not yet fifty years old and you saw our father Abraham?” Or it could read that Abraham saw you? And he said, “Before Abraham was I am”. Well now, that was too much. They said, “Why listen to him? He’s insane!” and they took up stones to stone him. They took the literal facts of life to throw at him. “Because we know your background, you are Joseph’s son. We know your brothers, and they named the brothers. We know your sisters. So we have the entire record of your history, and you dare to make these claims?”441 ¶5

He’s not claiming he was born differently from any other being in the world. He is telling the whole vast world how this thing unfolds in us, and tells the whole vast world not only “before Abraham was, I am,” he goes beyond that. He said, “Before the world was, I am.” In the 17th of John, “Return unto me the glory that was mine, the glory that I had with thee before that the world was”. He’s addressing his Father, but he says, “I and my Father are one”. So the whole drama is God the Father coming down into his pre-determined play, playing all the parts, and returning to himself, enhanced by the play. So all are one because God is one. And so, in the end, man finds himself God the Father.441 ¶6

So he tells you, “I will tell it to you before it takes place that when it does take place you may believe.” I will tell you this night before it takes place in you individually that when it does take place you may believe…that this story of Jesus Christ is the only story of salvation. There is no other story; there is no other way to God, none. But it is not a man that differs from you, it’s a plan. It’s a plan of salvation, because Jesus Christ is the pattern man that was activated and awoke in man. What is the name of that earthly man in whom this pattern awoke?—no one knows, any more than they know the authors of the Bible. We do not know who wrote Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. We do not know the true authors of any order of the Old Testament; we only know what is recorded.441 ¶7

So here, in everyone in this world is a pattern awaiting animation. A man turns around, it erupts within man, and he finds himself the central character of scripture, and that central character is God the Father. So all return to God the Father…there’s nothing but God the Father. And it begins with the event called in scripture the resurrection. The resurrection is an actual awakening from a sleep of which you are totally unaware. So when you came out and started as a traveler from eternity, you passed outward into these garments of sleep. These bodies are the garment of sleep and you’ve been traveling for unnumbered ages. I say, if I would take the experiences of the mystics both in scripture and others like a Blake and so on, 6,000 years…and totally unaware of who you are. Then comes that moment when, as that same traveler, you are turned around, and instead to traveling from eternity, you travel to eternity to the body of the Lord Jesus Christ who is God the Father. But in traveling to, you find you are he. And the whole thing is mapped out for you in scripture.441 ¶8

So, on your “turn around” you awake. And where do you think you awake? You awake in your skull. The most unearthly vibration will awaken you one night, and you’ll find yourself waking in your skull, a waking you have never experienced before. When you are completely awake, there you are alone and sealed within yourself. You know intuitively how to get out. You push the base of your skull, and you do come out, as one that is born from above. For, you come out in the same way that an infant comes out of the womb of a woman…only you are coming from above, not from below out of your mother’s womb. You’re coming out of your own skull…out of the base of your own skull.441 ¶9

Then the entire drama as described in scripture unfolds before you with you cast in the central role. You are the star in the entire drama. No one sees you, but you see everything that is taking place, and there are the three witnesses to what is taking place. Here is everything before you, including the little infant wrapped in swaddling clothes. You are not an infant, you are the being that you are now, but the sign of your birth from above is the infant wrapped in swaddling clothes . And there you see it…and they all know what it represents; and they call you by name, your earthly name. That’s not your true identity, but they cannot see it as yet. They call your earthly name. If your name is Claire, Grace, Jack, Neville, Bob, whatever it is they say, “It is Neville’s baby” or “Claire’s baby” because they cannot see you the invisible presence, for you are born from above, you are Spirit. So they only know you by reason of the mask that you wore, and they don’t know that that one who wore that mask is now born from above, so they call that name. But am I that?—no.441 ¶10

So I move on to the next grand event that comes a few months later. And then, a similar vibration within your skull results now in another explosion within you, and here stands David of biblical fame. He stands before you and you know that David is your son. There’s no uncertainty about this relationship. Here is your son, and here you are the father. David is the one to whom in the 2nd Psalm the Lord speaks that “You are my son, today I have begotten thee” . So here comes David and you are the father of David. As told us in the gospels, “David in the Spirit called Christ Lord” . Lord means “my father.” Now you know for the first time who you really are.441 ¶11

So when they ask the question now “Who are you?” we go to the 16th of Matthew: “And he turned to his disciples and he said to them, ‘Who do men say that the Son of man is?’ and they answered, ‘Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and still others say Jeremiah or one of the prophets.’ Then he said to them, ‘But who do you say that I am?’” So he identifies himself with the Son of man. “Now Peter answered, ‘You are the Christ, the Son of God.’ He said, ‘Flesh and blood could not have revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven’”. No earthly man or woman could ever have told you this because you cannot rationalize it…but you have to know it by revelation. It comes through revelation where the Son is unveiled to you.441 ¶12

Now we are taught to believe in our faith. I was born and raised in the Christian faith, and I was taught to believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God. I did not know that he was actually, literally, God the Father until it happened in me. “When it pleased God to reveal his Son in me”…he revealed me as the Father. The Son who revealed me to myself was David of biblical fame. So when you read it in scripture, “Before Abraham was, I am”, I can say before you this night, “Before David was, I am.” And yet, David by a chronological measurement is 1,000 B.C. I was born in this century. That’s 3,000 years difference and he is my ancestor by that…yet I am his Father. So I tell you, the story unfolds within us.441 ¶13

Well, who am I—Neville? No, that’s what those who came out from eternity—and therefore coming from eternity they move outward into these garments of sleep and forgetfulness—and they only know me as Neville. But those who move towards and to eternity, they pass inward to the body of the Lord and remembrance. Man then begins to remember. The whole thing was shown us before we started from eternity, and the return is simply a remembering of the being that we are, but enhanced and expanded beyond what we were by reason of our plunge into forgetfulness, which is called the world of death. So we came into a world of sin and death; and then you return from it to the being you were before you came out. So, “I came out from the Father, I came into the world; again, I leave the world and I go to the Father” . So the whole vast drama unfolds within us.441 ¶14

So the being that you really are…I can tell you who you are tonight; but I will not from now till the ends of time persuade you that you are until you experience it. I can tell you and you’ll trust me, and believe me, but not with the assurance and conviction that will be yours after you have heard it…then you will know. I can tell you. “I believe him, I really believe he’s telling the truth, but how can this thing be?” How is it possible for us in this century, the 20th century, to know ourselves to be God the Father? The Father of the one to whom he spoke saying, “You are my son, today I have begotten thee” , and that’s recorded 1,000 years B.C. and this is now almost 2,000 years A.D.? How are you going to do it? You can’t do it unless it happens within you. So the whole thing erupts within you and then you know.441 ¶15

So I tell you tonight, whether you believe it or not, and I tell it before it takes place so when it does take place you may believe. And so, who am I?—the central character of scripture. As we are told, “In the volume of the book it is written of me” .So, “If I were hungry, I wouldn’t tell you;”—why?—“because the world is mine and all within it; the cattle on a thousand hills are mine” . Were I hungry I would slay and eat, for it is all mine. “All mine are thine, and thine are mine” . You are the faithful being of scripture. But I can’t persuade you until you are turned around and the predetermined play that is buried in man erupts and unfolds within man. And I can’t tell you the thrill!441 ¶16

He doesn’t start the message until that fourth and final act, which is the descent of the Holy Spirit in the bodily form of a dove. Right after that takes place he starts his ministry, for he now knows that he is the one spoken of in scripture. He didn’t start it with the resurrection and the birth from above, or the discovery of David as his son—these things are [...]—or the splitting of the curtain of the temple of his own body, from top to bottom. He waited until the final act, which took exactly three and a half years. And so we are told in a very simple way that just before he starts his ministry, when they question him, he said, “In the days of Elijah…were there not others…and they were sealed for three years and six months?” . And did he go to any other widow? Did he go to any other one…and there were many lepers in that day…did he go to any other one but Naaman? . And it was but three years and six months. It’s a way of concealing and yet telling those who have had the experience it takes three years and six months from the awakening within your skull to the descent of the dove upon your body….when the voice says, “He loves you.” And then you tell it.441 ¶17

There are those who’ll believe it and those who will not believe it. But that is forever…you’ll get that forever and forever. Tonight, if the whole vast outer world heard what you are hearing, 99.99% would question my sanity. But I have scriptural support for that: “Why do you listen to him? He is insane and he has a devil” . Why was he insane? Because he said, “I and my Father are one …and my Father is he whom you call God; only I know my Father and ye know not your God.” For he saw them moving out from eternity, and only those who turned around could grasp it to the point of acceptance. But he still tells it to all and all will hear it.441 ¶18

So the drama of Christianity is eternally true and unfolding in man. Not something that is unfolding on the outside of man; it takes place within man. It’s the only way of salvation. There is no other way to the Father: “I am the way.” Not a man called Neville; Neville is not my identity. But I’ll tell you a pattern…while I walked the world wearing a little garment called Neville that it happened in me. Certainly Neville is not the Father of David…but I am the Father of David. Neville is not anything other than a little garment that God is wearing, playing the part. And Neville is forever, may I tell you…this is like a Hamlet in Shakespeare’s play. Many an actor plays Hamlet and they rake over the character, but the one who wrote it is the one either to praise or condemn. Well, God wrote the play, the whole vast play God wrote. It’s all God’s play and there’s only one actor. It’s God who’s playing all the parts. God is a protean being; he’s playing every part, all of them.441 ¶19

And so, this body when I drop it down, whether I drop it tonight or tomorrow, it is not gone. For not one event in space is impermanent; it is forever. And tomorrow he’ll take it up and play it. And you will see it, may I tell you, in time, but I, the being who played it, am not playing it, I have passed on, on my way to the Father, and the whole drama is finished. This is being played forever and forever. When anyone plays the part called Neville, he has this experience, for this is part of the eternal drama. But the one who is playing it is God, individualized, for the gods came down, and that is part of the play. This is part of the eternal structure of the universe and no one can rub it out. If you blow my head off right now, if I drop dead and they turn me into dust, the thing called Neville remains forever and forever and forever, and that part is being played. I move back into these states of the world to find that not a thing has passed away. I have moved back in time, not only a few years, 200 years, 2,000 years. It’s a play and the whole thing is sealed. And you don’t unseal it, and you think, “Now this thing is taking place now.” No. You see it and you think, “Well, if it’s now then it’s taking place”…no, not necessarily…you’re seeing what has happened. But for you it is a present fact as the play unfolds in this world.441 ¶20

So you and I…who am I? Only your Father in heaven could reveal to you who you really are. No one in this world can tell you to your own satisfaction that you are Christ. You can read in scripture that you are, as we read in the 13th chapter of 2nd Corinthians , “Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you?” Well, you don’t realize that at all. “Test him and see”…you’re called upon even to test this power. But we do not realize that he really is within us. Yet here is the statement, “Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you?” and that you are born from above by his resurrection in awakening from the dead. And he’s designated Son of God in power by his resurrection from the dead. And that we are born anew through his resurrection from the dead. And he is in us, therefore, he has to wake in us. If he is in us, he has to awake within us to bring us about in that second birth, the birth from above. So, if by the birth from above it is brought about by the resurrection of Christ from the dead, and Christ in you is the hope of glory, well then, he has to awake within you. When he awakes within you, it’s not another. For in my own case, it was no other…I am he.441 ¶21

So I know, “Unless you believe I am he, you continue and you die in your sins” . Man thinks a man is telling him unless this man believes that he is…and that is not so at all. Unless you believe—and now it becomes part of you, first-person present—I am he, I continue as I am in my limitations and die missing the mark in life. For unless I believe I am he, I die in my sins. Well, they couldn’t understand it, for they knew his parents, “Isn’t he Joseph’s son?” . “And his brothers, they’re with us to this day…James, Joseph, Judas and Simon, and his sisters?” and these plural . Here is a normal, normal family. “And you are not yet fifty and you’re telling me these things, that you saw Abraham? That you know before the world was that you are? That’s insane…why listen to him? The man is insane.”441 ¶22

Because they are looking for a different kind of salvation…a savior outside of self, and there is no savior outside of the self! Because the savior awakens within you: God became man that man may become God. So there’s no outside savior, he actually became you. But you’re on your journey from eternity into these garments of sleep; and now you are turned around, and then move to eternity and pass inward to the body of the risen Lord. All will be gathered one by one into this one body, one Spirit, one Lord, one God and Father of all. One body fell and diversified into unnumbered men and women. Only one body will be gathered together, taking all back, one by one, into the one body.441 ¶23

And when you’ve had it, may I tell you, it doesn’t really matter what the whole vast world thinks. You stand completely unashamed and [...], because it doesn’t really matter what anyone in this world tells you. They could tell you from now till the ends of time and bring all their truth about hallucination and all their little arguments based upon reasoning, and you simply sit there as though you’re in the presence of an infant. You tolerate the infant mind because it’s without vision. It hasn’t the slightest concept of this mystery. The vast world will try to persuade you. Sitting on the throne of the religious world or political world or the financial world…they are still ignorant. And you simply indulge them as you would a child. You don’t argue with them because they are incapable, without vision, of following what you have seen. You’ve see it, and that’s all there is to it.441 ¶24

You tell the world the true pattern of salvation. That God is buried as a pattern in man, and at the right moment in time that pattern erupts, like the tree of life, and it bears fruit. It begins with the resurrection. Then comes, after the resurrection comes this glorious birth from above. Then comes the Son of God calling you Father…and only then do you know who you really are…for no one knows who the Father is except the Son, but no one. As you’re told in scripture, “No one knows who the Son is except the Father.” So today, you can’t blame anyone who does not know he is the Father for thinking that Jesus Christ is the Son. “For no one knows the Son except the Father; and no one knows who the Father is except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him” .441 ¶25

So when the whole vast world tells you that Jesus Christ is the Son, tolerate it, let them alone. They do not know the Father. If they knew the Father, they wouldn’t say that. For Jesus Christ is God the Father. And the Son…if he is a father, there must be a son…and that son is David. So no one knows who the Son is but the Father. So when they tell you Jesus Christ is a father, meaning another, they don’t know the Father. They do not know who that Son is. When they know who the Son is then they know the Father. For the Son calls the Father, Father, and he calls you Father.441 ¶26

So here, when you begin to move in…as Blake so beautifully told, “Every generated body is a garden of delight and a building of magnificence”…from within, not from without. From without, you become withered, old, just completely gone. That is not what he talks about. Every generated body within is this garden of delight…in its inner form. And so, when you see them move in, then you see the glory that awaits your return.441 ¶27

I think of my friend Bob Crutcher and that scene of his, in the outer form the dilapidated little shack in Paris, and the war is on, and he’s fighting and fighting all these soldiers. Then he goes out and finds me waiting for him at the door. All these soldiers become fused into a single man, and I am the man waiting for him. I take him to the back, and the back of this little shack, and the fields being harvested as far as his eye could see…just field after field of wheat, beautiful golden wheat. To his left what was a mountain of an enemy shooting at him is nothing more than one mountain of harvested wheat. And then he sensed that something is symbolic here. He asked me, “What are they doing?” I said, “The same thing they did last year. It goes on forever.” “Well, how long have I been here?” “Two years.” “Did I learn anything?” “Yes, you learned how to move, how to create.” And then, he looked at what was the little shack and it’s a castle. It’s not a shack but a palatial castle, with attendants waiting to escort him to his quarters. And the whole vision comes to an end.441 ¶28

So he is on his way towards. He has already discovered he is God the Father, so the outer form is nothing. No matter what happens to it, it is as nothing. It’s a garment of forgetfulness. It’s only when you’re turned around you move to eternity. When you move towards eternity then you must pass inward to the Father and remembrance.441 ¶29

So who am I? Every man asks that of himself, “Who am I?” I can tell you who you are tonight, that I know you are Jesus Christ who is God the Father, who conceived the whole vast play, but I can’t persuade you. I can only encourage you and tell it to you before it takes place that when it does take place you may believe. I can only do that for you. But I cannot, until you are turned around and start the journey inward, persuade you to inner conviction that it’s true. For the outer man wants an outer savior, and he wants someone greater than himself—and he thinks there is another one greater—to save him.441 ¶30

So we have the whole vast world today going on relief, and we have promised and promised everyone from the cradle to the grave a fixed sum of money. No matter what they do, go out and steal, they’re going to get so much every day, every week, every month, and they all promise it. And we’re already broke. And do you know, they’ll believe it and expect it from those who have lied from the beginning of time, because they are playing parts they can’t help. A politician, if he has any religion whatsoever, to be a good politician he’d have to put it in deep, deep cold storage while he’s a politician; for they are simply professional liars. They’ll make every promise in the world, but that’s based upon the outer man and they just play these parts.441 ¶31

I am not sent to tell you lies. I am telling you exactly how this thing works. While we’re on the outside we will listen to all these false promises. And one day we’ll turn around and we’ll tell them who we are. When we tell them who we are, we are the Lord Jesus Christ who conceived it all and played it all, and then we’re all gathered back into one being.441 ¶32

You’ll say it boldly as I’m saying it to you tonight. I have not a thing to fear. What does it matter if this moment in time was the moment for me to depart, what would it matter? As Peter tells us, “I think it right to tell you now that you may be brought to remembrance of these things, for it has been shown to me by the Lord Jesus Christ that I have not long to wear this garment of flesh.” And so, because he had not long to wear the garment of flesh, he told them that at any time in the future you may remember my words and bring back to your memory what I’m telling you. Read it in the epistle of Peter, I think it’s in the second epistle, the first chapter, the 14th verse. He knows he hasn’t long to wear this garment of flesh, so why delay in telling them. And he tells exactly what was shown to him…that he was on the mountain when the whole thing unfolded. He knows the majesty of [...].441 ¶33

So I ask you to believe it. Everyone believe it…it’s true. Today, they’re making, building a monument to God. It’s like making a monument to Hamlet and not to Shakespeare. So we have all these monuments in the world to the garments that God wears rather than to God the hero, the central character of the entire play.441 ¶34

So who am I? That question is forever, and you always start with the outer man: “Who do men say that I am?” They always mention some other man. But he comes back, “But who do you say that I am?” And then he tells him that “no flesh and blood could ever have told him but my Father who is in heaven has revealed it”…and heaven is within you. When I pray to my Father, I must therefore pray within, because God is in his kingdom, and so only from within could it be revealed who I really am. So the drama is unfolding not between two men, but in one man. He wonders, “Who am I?” and then the whole thing unfolds because here scripture is now being fulfilled. So he starts his drama by a quotation from scripture and tells you that this scripture has been fulfilled this day. “I’ve come only to fulfill scripture, for scripture must be fulfilled in me.”441 ¶35

So the purpose of life is only to fulfill scripture. It’s not to build up some enormous organization. Today we have countries building images of themselves, corporations building images, individuals who think that they need a good image for the public, they’re all building images…and these are false images. Every image that a man builds for the public to accept of himself is a false image. Get the real image when the Son unveils you and tells you who you are by calling you Father.441 ¶36

So I tell you, you are God the Father. The day will come, these words that you now hear with the outer ear you will experience from within, and you will know that you really are God the Father. Jesus Christ is God the Father, and as a father he had a son, and that only begotten son is David. “Thou art my son, today I have begotten thee,” the 2nd Psalm .441 ¶37

It shocked the outer world because they’ve been so misinformed. But they couldn’t help it. When they travel from eternity, they pass outward into these garments of forgetfulness…and they are misinformed. They bring their own prefabricated misconceptions of scripture to religions and feed the sheep with this false information. And all the outer trappings mean nothing, nothing whatsoever.441 ¶38

So he tells us to turn around. The word metanoia translated repentance means “a radical change of attitude,” that’s all that it means. “The kingdom of heaven is at hand, but repent and believe the good news, believe the gospel” . So, I see something that I do not like, represent it to myself as I would like to see it; persuade myself that this representation is true, walk in the assumption that it is true though reason denies it, and I will see it crystallize into my outer world. Then I will know I am really repenting and really practicing this art, and then I turn around. Turning around, then I turn to eternity and pass inward to the Father.441 ¶39

Now let us go into the Silence.441 ¶40